Over the past couple of weeks I've asked myself what stopped me from taking off after college for places unknown. When I reflect on that time I can remember that I was more concerned (worried) with creating a stable life for myself especially after having lived a precariously unpredictable one for so many years. The thought of wandering around aimlessly without a sense of where I would lay my hat (or purse) next did not appeal to me at all. All I could think about then was having my own place with my own set of keys and maybe a coffee maker. I craved stability, coziness, and peace at that time more than stamps on a passport. Also, I'm pretty sure that I was scared of being anymore uncomfortable than I'd already been in my life. Back then I was proud that I moved three hours from my home to attend college in a town surrounded by corn fields. On the way to school I actually cried when I saw a post office that was only the size of a small house.
Floating back to the present, I'm happy that I did what was best for myself at the time. Now when I come home I get the feeling I had hoped for when I was younger- warmth, peace, safety-happy to be home. So, I guess for now I will continue to feel grateful for my short travels and make plans to tap into my wanderlust when I retire. God, please let me retire...at some point.
|The place where I now sit and have my coffee|